He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize