I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
