She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
