K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
