Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
