They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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