i think i have herpe
just one?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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