My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
