No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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