i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
