Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
