We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize