i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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