i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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