My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
