I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
