she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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