last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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