why didn't you poke me back
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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