Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
