I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
