So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize