Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
