did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
