It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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