He asked to "fluff my boner.."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
