ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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