me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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