Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
