wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
