just come out here and I will go home with you...
you would pick up someone in the library
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
