dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
