I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
