When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
