Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
