who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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