So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
