Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize