i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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