You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
