Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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