So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
