she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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