margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
