Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
