I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
