So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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