We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
