just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
