I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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