I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
