only if we run a train.
done.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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