I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
