xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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