I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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