No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
