I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
