I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
