i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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