and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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