FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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