Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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