either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
