We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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