So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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