Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
