Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
